do u ever daydream about decorating ur first apartment bc i do
the first person to poop must have been like ???????????????
As an infant they probably didn’t register what was happening
i was imagining a grown ass man. a man with a beard. a man hunting alaskan mammoths to provide for his family. i forgot babies. i forgot babies existed
"I don’t wear makeup so I don’t have to waste like an hour in front of the mirror every morning hahahaha"
"open books not legs"
"why have tequila shots when you can have tea?"
"As always, late with Starbucks"
"modest is hottest"
"I’m not like those girls”
i’m on a seafood diet. i only eat seafood
that’s not how the joke goes lmao
do my weight loss goals seem like a fucking joke to you
- i am seeing less and less of you (via pukin)
Girls get mocked for liking high heels and lipstick. Girls get mocked for liking sports. Girls get mocked for liking tea and books. Girls get mocked for liking comics books and video games. Girls get mocked for liking math and science. Girls get mocked for liking boys. Girls…
IM GOING TO SCREAM IM IN CLASS AND THESE GIRLS WHO BULLIED ME IN 5TH GRADE ARE WHISPERING AND THEYRE LIKE
"holy shit did she go to our elementary school"
"i dont know if thats her"
"i rly dont think thats her guys"
AND THE TEACHER CALLED MY NAME AND THEY GO
"holy shit shes hot"
L I F E
YOU FUCKING GO IM PROUD OF YOU
OWN IT FOR ALL OF US
one time I had this dream that I logged on to amazon and my account had like negative four trillion dollars because i accidentally bought the city of Paris